Equipe 86 – IUE Calcio 0-2 Flying Gazza!
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Match rewport by Gazza (!)
Another victory for IUE calcio, this time won by suffering and seized with heart but for this reason possibly even more fulfilling.
The first spring day of 2014 was molested by a soft rain falling on the gladiatorial arena of Cerreti as the first players of the Squadra approached the dressing room. The atmosphere was weird since the usual Friday training was substituted by the away game against Equipe 86, second from the bottom in the table of serie Z-1.
The evening started with the usual italian-style discussion about Fiorentina-Juventus played the previous day. After this we could finally start to focus on the most important things of the all (un)important things: IUE CALCIO! The usual introductory speach by Coach J.F.K. (Karremans) explained the line-up:
Ludvig Roby (Pazzo) Jan
Byku Luis(Diego) Fede (Jacob) Jonas
Leo Lore (Metin)
The Misters had concerns about this match because underestimating the oppents is a serious danger for a team which is obtaining good results. Those worries about the game proved true as the Equipe 86, without any warming-up, started with an aggressive pressure and took the dominance of the ball and consequently of the game. The Squadra was sleepy and struggled a bit also because Roby got injured after few minutes and the team found a new disposition with Byku defender, Fede in Byku’s position and Alberto midfielder. Equipe 86 did not have clear chances whereas when we played our football we put them under real pressure: the closest chance came from a smart free kick from LL11 (Buonasera, Leonardo Luharini # 11) with Jan missing the ball at close quarter to the goal by few centimeters.
As only the REAL TEAMS are able to do, the Squadra reacted to the difficult situation in the second half, especially since the deep runs of Metin put the defensive line of the opponents under pressure. We had several chances but the goalkeeper of the Equipe 86 proved true the rumors saying he used to be an Eccellenza Portiere. As it has happened already this year, their goal seemed under the protection of some spell but then the unthinkable/unimaginable happened.
The goal came from a long triangle between Gazza and Metin. Gazza was able to find Metin in the corner of the opponent’s box and, since I am writing the match report, I can tell you exactly what was going on inside my head. After the pass to Metin I spot a soft point in the box but I heard a voice inside my head saying: “Where the fuck are you going? You never score, stay back defending.” Presumably it was the dark side or even more likely the powerful psychic weapons in the arsenal of our foes. But then I remembered the leitmotiv of the year: “There are no limits, the sky is the only limit, and it wears the colors of… IUE CALCIOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!“ and then I understood we had to try to go beyond our limit to get those 3 points. Of course I chose the wrong direction and I made a long jump instead of an high jump (below you have the video recorded from the bench..)
and somehow I headed the cross by Treno in the goal. I thought it was a dream and I had to wake up (you know sometimes I dream about playing football..I am sure you are very surprised..), I could not believe what was going on until I actually saw the net moving..Flying Gazza!
The opponents responded to our goal in the way they know best: getting fouls (helped by an ignominous referee) and trying to penetrate Cosimo with those free kicks, either shooting from the distance or with crosses in the middle. Their pressure was intense but short-live as summer storms, and with our second goal the match was in our own hands: our midfield served a nice ball to Treno in the opponent’s box, he controlled and beat their golie with a powerful shot on the second post.
Now some facts are worth to be reported here:
- is Treno becoming Freccia Rossa?;
- Cosimo made a great save pulling out the ball from the upper corner of the goal
- Ciacci was playing with the shoes in the image
Do you think it’s allowed? Mmm..
Ciacci took a shot from outside the box, and he had two chances to score but the God of Football decided that Gazza’s goal was weird enough for the day. A very old prophecy says that Ciacci will score on a day called Footballnarök which will mark the end of football. We shall see if it is true (this year Ciacci!).
Finally the funniest episode of the game: we were defending a corner kick and Ciacci was marking a tall big fat fat guy. For some reason the guy did not like Ciacci’s affection, he took Ciacci by the neck and pushed him to the ground. The angry reaction of Ciacci was the following:”Scusi, LEI non può mettermi le mani al collo”. Everyone on the football pitch was terribly shocked by this, both his team mates and the opponents and even the ref. Nobody had ever heard LEI on a football pitch before (we checked the historical records and the best source in this matter, Eternal, can indeed confirm the statistics). You have to know a bit of italian to understand this so Metin just scroll on..
Is the sky really a limit? Probably at this point we should reach the Moon and paint it with the colors of IUE calcio..Presi can you ask EUI and NASA for funding???
“He who is victorious should remember the instability of earthly things“, so guys let’s try to sleep in the bed and not on the pitch at the beginning of the game..